Beginnings and Endings — Essay Writing 5 (C1)

ESSAY WRITING · LESSON 5

Beginnings and Endings

C1–C2 · IELTS Writing Task 2 · 90 minutes

The myth: three habits

Task Alone: score each statement on the 1–5 scale and write your three numbers down. In pairs: compare, and for the statement where you differ most, each give one reason for your number.

1

strongly agree

2

mostly agree

3

on the fence

4

mostly disagree

5

strongly disagree

1. A memorised opening line is a safe way to start any essay.

2. To paraphrase the question, change every word you can for a synonym.

3. The safest conclusion restates the introduction.

Three introductions

Task In pairs, read the prompt and the three introductions. Rank them from 1 (strongest) to 3 (weakest) and agree one reason for each place. Each of you: write down the letter you ranked 3rd.

PROMPT

In a growing number of countries, patients can now see a doctor by video call instead of visiting a clinic in person. Do the advantages of this development outweigh the disadvantages?

Three introductions (2)

INTRODUCTION A · 57 words

INTRODUCTION B · 44 words

INTRODUCTION C · 49 words

Nowadays, health is one of the most important issues in the modern world, and every development has both advantages and disadvantages. In a growing number of nations, patients can currently see a doctor through a video call rather than going to a clinic personally. In my opinion, the advantages outweigh the disadvantages, as I will discuss below.

Few areas of daily life have changed as quickly as the way people consult their doctors. Many patients can now speak to a doctor on a screen rather than across a desk. While video consultations have clear limits, I believe their advantages outweigh them.

Remote consultations, in which patients speak to a doctor through a screen instead of in a surgery, have spread quickly in recent years. Supporters praise their convenience, while critics worry about missed diagnoses. This essay will examine the main advantages and disadvantages of this trend before reaching a conclusion.

What an introduction is for

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An introduction brings the reader to the question and says where you stand. The reasons come later, in three steps.

1. A wide context sentence

2. A reference to the question

3. Your position, without the details

Start wider than the question, but stay on this issue: where it comes from, or why it matters now. A sentence that could open any essay is filler, not context.

Say what is proposed, claimed or debated, in your own words. Refer to the question: don't copy it, and don't swap its words for synonyms.

Where the task asks for one, say where you stand in one clear sentence. Keep your reasons for the topic sentences: if the introduction gives them away, Body 1 repeats it.

The test: does the reader know the question and where you stand, with every reason still left for the body paragraphs?

Rewrite the weakest

Task Rewrite the introduction you ranked 3rd in "Three introductions". Keep its topic; change anything else. 50 words maximum, 5 minutes. Write in your own document, then count your words.

Your rewrite needs the three steps:

1. a wide sentence that sets this issue in context;

2. a reference to the question, in your own words;

3. your position, without your reasons.

50

WORDS MAXIMUM

5

MINUTES

The paraphrase spectrum

Task In pairs, compare the three paraphrases of the prompt's first sentence. Answer questions 1 to 4, writing letters for question 1.

In many cities, people are living longer, but they are spending more of those extra years in poor health. What are the causes of this, and what can be done about it?

PARAPHRASE A · 22 words

PARAPHRASE B · 22 words

PARAPHRASE C · 19 words

In many urban areas, people are living longer lives, yet a bigger amount of those additional years is spent in bad health.

Life expectancy has risen in many cities, but the number of years that people spend in good health has not kept pace.

In numerous metropolises, individuals are residing lengthier, but they are expending more of those supplementary years in inferior wellness.

The paraphrase spectrum (2)

1. Write A, B and C in order, from the most cosmetic (only the words changed) to the most genuine (the idea reframed).

2. Which version keeps the prompt's meaning exactly? For the others, write down each word or phrase that changes the meaning or sounds wrong.

3. B keeps "cities" and "health" from the prompt. Is that a weakness?

4. C uses longer, rarer words than A. Why is it the weaker paraphrase?

What a paraphrase is for

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Why paraphrase at all

Reframe the idea, not the words

Keep the words that have no substitute

It shows the reader that you have understood the question, and it puts the question into your own frame, ready for your answer.

Change the angle: make a different idea the subject of the sentence, turn a verb into a noun, or name the concept the prompt describes ("people are living longer" is life expectancy).

City, health, doctor, children: changing a precise word for a rarer one usually changes the meaning.

Why synonym-swapping goes wrong

The check

Very few words are true synonyms. Each has its own meaning, its own partners and its own register. You spend years but expend energy; you live longer but reside at an address. Swap every word and the sentence drifts away from the question.

Put the prompt away, write your version, then read the two side by side. Does yours say the same thing, no more and no less?

Three endings

Task In pairs, read the essay's introduction and the summary of its body paragraphs, then the three conclusions. For each conclusion, name its main problem in a few words, or say what it does well. Then agree which one keeps the introduction's promise.

Many people now use smartwatches and phone apps to track their sleep, steps and heart rate. Some say this helps them stay healthy, while others believe it makes them anxious about their health. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.

THE ESSAY'S INTRODUCTION · 48 words

THE BODY PARAGRAPHS, IN ONE LINE EACH

Not long ago, most people's only health data was their weight. Today, watches and phones count steps and score sleep, and opinion is split on whether this keeps people healthy or makes them anxious. In my view, the answer depends less on the device than on its user.

Body 1: a runner training for her first race uses her pace and heart data to plan sensible training.

Body 2: an office worker who checks his sleep score every morning now sleeps worse, because he lies awake worrying about the score.

Three endings (2)

Task In pairs, read the essay's introduction and the summary of its body paragraphs, then the three conclusions. For each conclusion, name its main problem in a few words, or say what it does well. Then agree which one keeps the introduction's promise.

CONCLUSION A · 35 words

CONCLUSION B · 40 words

CONCLUSION C · 40 words

In conclusion, watches and phones now count steps and score sleep, and opinion is split on whether this helps or harms. In my view, the answer depends less on the device than on its user.

Both sides are right, but about different users. The runner and the office worker wear the same device and bring different questions to it. Numbers that answer the user's own question support health; numbers that become the goal replace it.

A tracker motivates people who use it to reach a goal of their own, and causes anxiety when the score becomes the point. The greatest danger, however, may be that insurers will one day use this data to set prices.

What a conclusion is for

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A conclusion has one job: to give the answer the essay has now earned.

Answer the question directly

Draw the argument together

State your position again, in new words, as something the essay has shown, not only promised.

Show how your two body paragraphs fit into one answer. Synthesise: say what they add up to, not what each one said.

Nothing new

The promise, kept

No new argument and no new example. If an idea matters that much, it belongs in a body paragraph.

The introduction made a promise before the evidence; the conclusion keeps it after the evidence. The reader has just read your introduction: copying it back adds nothing.

Write: your two ends

Task Open your portfolio document: your prompt, thesis and plan from Lesson 4. Write your essay's introduction and conclusion. Write the word count under each.

1. Introduction

2. Conclusion

3. Count

40–50

8

30–40

6

1

WORDS

MINUTES

WORDS

MINUTES

MINUTE

Three steps: a wide context sentence, a reference to the question, and your position without your reasons (they stay in your plan, for the topic sentences).

Answer the question in new words and draw your two planned body paragraphs together. Nothing that isn't in your plan.

Over budget? Mark the sentence you would cut.

Peer review: promise and proof

Task Swap introductions only. 1. Read your partner's introduction and write one line each for its context, the question it refers to and its position. Does it give away any reason? 2. Now read the conclusion and answer the four questions. 3. Give one strength and one change.

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1. “Did it answer the question?”

2. “Can I follow it?”

3. “Is every word the right one?”

4. “Is every sentence under control?”

Does the position answer the prompt's question, and does the conclusion give the same answer?

Do the three steps come in a clear order, from the wide context to the position?

Is the paraphrase a reframing? Does every changed word still mean what the prompt meant?

Is there any sentence you had to read twice?

Back to the myth

Task Score the three statements again on the 1–5 scale. Has any of your numbers moved? Why?

1

strongly agree

2

mostly agree

3

on the fence

4

mostly disagree

5

strongly disagree

1. A memorised opening line is a safe way to start any essay.

2. To paraphrase the question, change every word you can for a synonym.

3. The safest conclusion restates the introduction.

Homework

Task Polish the introduction and conclusion you wrote today (about 25 minutes). Check them in this order, and change whatever fails:

1. The paraphrase: put the prompt away, reread your introduction, then compare. Does every changed word still mean what the prompt meant?

2. The three steps: is your first sentence wider than the question but still about this issue? Does the second refer to the question in your own words? Does the third give your position and leave every reason for the body paragraphs?

3. Nothing new: does the conclusion contain any idea that is not in your plan? Cut it, or move it into the plan.

4. No copying: does any phrase of your introduction appear again in your conclusion? Say it in new words.

5. The count: introduction 40–50 words, conclusion 30–40. Write the final count under each and bring both to Lesson 6.

Before Lesson 6

The introduction makes a promise; the conclusion keeps it.

Introduction

Everything between them is the proof, and the reader judges it against the promise you made in your first fifty words.

Body 1

Next lesson: The Body Paragraph. One idea per paragraph, a topic sentence that commits to it, and development that explains, exemplifies and follows the consequence. You will write body paragraph 1 of your portfolio essay.

Body 2

Conclusion

TEACHER'S REFERENCE · SKIP OR DELETE BEFORE CLASS

Answer key (1)

THREE INTRODUCTIONS B, then C, then A; a ranking of B, A, C is defensible if the pair argues it

• B (strongest). The three steps, in order. A wide context sentence that is still about this issue (how quickly the way people consult doctors has changed). A reference to the question in its own words ("speak to a doctor on a screen rather than across a desk", not "see a doctor by video call instead of visiting a clinic"). A clear position with no reasons attached ("While video consultations have clear limits, I believe their advantages outweigh them"), so Body 1's topic sentence can bring the first advantage in fresh. 44 words, on budget.

• C. Steps 1 and 2 are competent, and both sides are named. But step 3 is missing: the only promise is that a conclusion will arrive ("This essay will examine ... before reaching a conclusion"). The prompt asks a direct question, and the reader cannot know the answer until the end. Fix: replace the last sentence with a position, without reasons.

• A (weakest). The first sentence could open any essay and is illogical (health does not have "advantages and disadvantages"). The second is the prompt with words swapped, and one swap changes the meaning: to see a doctor "personally" means to see the doctor yourself, not in person. The thesis is present but bare, and "as I will discuss below" adds nothing. 57 words, over budget, with most of them doing no work. The case for ranking A above C: it does take a position.

THE PARAPHRASE SPECTRUM

1 From most cosmetic to most genuine: C, A, B.

TEACHER'S REFERENCE · SKIP OR DELETE BEFORE CLASS

Answer key (2)

2 B keeps the meaning exactly: if life expectancy rises and healthy years do not keep pace, more of the extra years are spent in poor health. A keeps the meaning roughly, but it is the prompt's skeleton with words swapped, and "a bigger amount of those additional years" is a collocation slip (years are counted: "more of those years", not "a bigger amount"). C drifts: "metropolises" are only the very largest cities; "residing" is about where you live, not how long; "lengthier" is not used for a lifespan; you spend years but "expend" energy; "supplementary" means added on, as to a report; "inferior wellness" is not a phrase English uses for poor health.

3 No. "Cities" and "health" are precise and have no true substitute. B changes the frame (life expectancy, years in good health), not the key terms.

4 Rarer words are only better when they are the right words. Every swap in C changes meaning, collocation or register, so the reader has to work out what it means, and the question has quietly changed.

THREE ENDINGS

• A: near-restatement. It repeats the introduction's context and copies its thesis almost word for word. It answers the question, but nothing in it shows that the body paragraphs happened: the runner and the office worker are gone. This is the "repetitive" conclusion the band 6 descriptor describes.

• B: real synthesis. It answers directly (both sides are right, about different users), draws the two body examples into one point (the same device, different questions), and restates the thesis in new words. Nothing new is introduced.

• C: new idea. The first sentence is a fair summary of the two body paragraphs. The second introduces insurers and data prices, which the essay never argued, so the reader is left with an unexamined claim. As a body paragraph in another essay, it could work.

• The promise kept: B.

TEACHER'S REFERENCE · SKIP OR DELETE BEFORE CLASS

Answer key (3)

BACK TO THE MYTH the verdicts

1 A memorised opening line. The grain of truth: starting is hard under time pressure. But a line that could open any essay gives no context for this one, spends words from a 40–50 budget, and puts off the thesis. The public band descriptors list "memorised phrases, formulaic language" among inappropriate lexical chunks (band 4, Lexical Resource). Reader's questions: "Did it answer the question?" and "Is every word the right one?"

2 Paraphrase by synonym. The grain of truth: copying the prompt shows nothing. (The descriptors state that "Any copied rubric must be discounted". Language copied from the prompt simply isn't credited: there is no penalty, but it earns nothing, and some examiners are put off by it. It is an unnecessary risk.) But few words are true synonyms, and a full swap usually changes the meaning (Paraphrase C, Introduction A's "personally"). Reader's question: "Is every word the right one?"

3 Restate the introduction. The grain of truth: the conclusion must give the same position as the introduction. But copying it back ignores everything the body showed; the band 6 Task Response descriptor notes conclusions that may be "repetitive". Reader's question: "Did it answer the question?"

TEACHER'S REFERENCE · SKIP OR DELETE BEFORE CLASS

Answer key: Rewrite the weakest

one possible rewrite of A; there are many good answers

MODEL Rewrite of Introduction A · 46 words · Intended band: 7

REWRITE OF INTRODUCTION A · 46 words

Not long ago, seeing a doctor meant a trip to a clinic and a morning in a waiting room. Many patients can now consult by video instead, and the change is spreading. In my view, its benefits outweigh its drawbacks, though only up to a point.