Coherence and Cohesion — Essay Writing 8 (C1)

ESSAY WRITING · LESSON 8

Coherence and Cohesion

C1–C2 · IELTS Writing Task 2 · 90 minutes

The myth: count the linkers

Task Alone: rate the statement on the 1–5 scale and write your number down. Keep it for later. In pairs: compare numbers. Then each of you name one linking word you use in almost every essay, and say what job it does for the reader.

1

strongly agree

2

mostly agree

3

on the fence

4

mostly disagree

5

strongly disagree

"The more linking words, the higher the band."

Two kinds of flow

Coherence

A text can have one without the other. Every sentence below is joined to the one before it. Can you say what the paragraph is about?

Does the whole make sense? The reader can say what the essay argues, what each paragraph is about, and why the paragraphs come in this order.

SAMPLE: COHESIVE BUT NOT COHERENT · 57 words

Many people now watch films on their phones. Phones have small screens, so wide landscape shots lose much of their power. Landscapes are also a favourite subject of amateur photographers. Amateur photographers often share their work on social media, where it competes with advertising. Advertising, in turn, pays for most of the free content people see online.

Cohesion

Is it joined up, sentence to sentence? Each sentence picks up something the reader already has, so the reader never has to stop and ask "what's this got to do with the last one?"

TR

CC

LR

GRA

Coherence and Cohesion

“Can I follow it?”

Strip the linkers

Task Alone: copy the paragraph into your document. Delete every linker at the start of a sentence (there are seven). Read the paragraph again, aloud if you can. Then put back only the linkers the reader really needs, and change any that send the wrong signal. In pairs: compare. Which did you both put back, and why?

PARAGRAPH: FUNDING NATIONAL CINEMA · 108 words

Firstly, public funding allows film-makers to tell stories that commercial studios would ignore. Moreover, a small country such as Estonia or Senegal cannot rely on ticket sales alone, because its home audience is too small to repay the cost of a feature film. Therefore, without support, many of its stories would never be filmed. Furthermore, these films often travel abroad through festivals, giving the country a voice in global culture. In addition, critics claim that state money produces safe, dull films. However, many of the most daring films of recent decades were made with public money. Consequently, funding should be seen as an investment rather than a subsidy.

The verdict: what the linkers were doing

PARAGRAPH: FUNDING NATIONAL CINEMA, REVISED · 109 words

Public funding allows film-makers to tell stories that commercial studios would ignore. A small country such as Estonia or Senegal cannot rely on ticket sales alone, because its home audience is too small to repay the cost of a feature film. Without support, many of its stories would never be filmed. Those that are made often travel abroad through festivals, giving the country a voice in global culture. Critics, it is true, claim that state money produces safe, dull films. However, many of the most daring films of recent decades were made with public money. For these reasons, funding is better seen as an investment than as a subsidy.

• Kept: However, because the argument turns there.

• Changed: In addition became it is true: sentence 5 is a concession, not one more point.

• Changed: Consequently became For these reasons, which points back to the whole paragraph, not just the sentence before.

• Cut: the rest. The sentences already carried the logic.

Old before new

VERSION A · 55 words

VERSION B · 51 words

Many museums now put their collections online. Free access for students in countries with few major galleries is one benefit of this. A virtual tour, however, cannot replace the experience of standing in front of a real painting. The painting's true size and texture, and the silence of the room, are what make that experience.

Many museums now put their collections online. This gives free access to students in countries with few major galleries. Online access, however, cannot replace the experience of standing in front of a real painting. That experience depends on the painting's true size and texture, and on the silence of the room.

Old before new (2)

Each sentence has two ends. The beginning tells the reader what the sentence is about, and it works best when it picks up something already said. The end is where new information lands, and where the reader looks for what matters. Put the old first and the new last, and the sentences join themselves.

topic position: old

stress position: new

topic position: old

stress position: new

Given-new rewrite

Task In pairs. In each pair of sentences, the second sentence starts with new information. Rewrite the second sentence so it starts with something the reader already knows. Write your versions in your own document, with the letters. Keep the meaning.

Tools: a reference word (this, these, such), a word repeated from the first sentence, or a change of verb (including the passive).

A

Many cities now offer free entry to their public museums. A sharp rise in visitors, especially families, has followed this decision.

B

Streaming platforms recommend films based on what users have already watched. A narrower range of tastes, some critics argue, is the result of these recommendations.

C

Local radio stations are losing listeners to podcasts. Programmes about a single town or region, which national media rarely provide, are still offered by these stations.

D

Some countries require radio stations to play a fixed share of music in local languages. Young musicians who would otherwise struggle to be heard are often the main beneficiaries of such rules.

E

Celebrity gossip fills a growing share of many news websites. Clicks, which bring in advertising money, are the main reason for this.

Chains that hold a paragraph

Reference chains

Words that point back: this, these, such, the latter, best with a noun that sums up what came before: this policy, such measures, this shift. A bare this can leave the reader asking "this what?".

Repeating a key word, or using related words (film, director, screen, audience), keeps one topic in view across a paragraph. Repetition is not a fault when it is the thread; a new synonym in every sentence can make the reader wonder if the topic has changed.

Lexical chains

Paragraphs as signals

A new paragraph tells the reader that the argument has moved one step. One main point per paragraph, stated early, and the reader knows where they are before reading a single linker.

Trace the chain

Task In pairs. For sentences 2 to 6, write down every word or phrase that points back to an earlier sentence, and the number of the sentence it points to. Mark each one R (a reference word such as these or such) or L (a repeated or related word).

BODY PARAGRAPH: SHORT VIDEOS AND NEW MUSIC · 109 words

1. Short-video apps have changed how new music finds an audience.

2. On these platforms, a song can spread through a fifteen-second clip long before any radio station has played it.

3. Such clips reward a catchy hook rather than a carefully built album.

4. Some musicians now write with this in mind, placing the strongest moment of a track in its first few seconds.

5. The result is a kind of song designed to be noticed quickly, and perhaps forgotten just as quickly.

6. For listeners, this trend brings more variety than ever before; for the album as an art form, built to be heard from start to finish, it may be a threat.

Flow revision

Task Revise your portfolio essay for flow: introduction, body paragraph 1, body paragraph 2 and conclusion. The essay stays at about 280–300 words (no more than 320). Work in your own document.

Introduction

Body 1

Body 2

Conclusion

40–50

100–110

100–110

30–40

0

100

250 minimum

200

~320 ceiling

~300 target

Flow revision (2)

3

1. Highlight every linker at the start of a sentence. Write the number at the top of your essay.

MINUTES

7

2. Cut at least half of them. After each cut, read the sentence: does it now begin with something the reader already knows? If not, rewrite its opening with a reference word plus a noun (this approach) or a repeated key word.

MINUTES

3

3. Read only the first sentence of each paragraph. Together, do they tell your argument in order? Does each paragraph break mark a real step?

MINUTES

2

4. Count your words, and write the new linker count next to the old one.

MINUTES

Peer review: can I follow it?

Task In pairs. Swap revised essays. Answer the four questions about your partner's essay, then give one strength and one change, each in one sentence.

1. Can you say each paragraph's point in one line? Write the four lines.

2. Find one sentence that does not begin with something you already know. Suggest a new opening.

3. Is any linker that is left doing no work? Which one?

4. Is there a this or these where you have to ask "this what?"

Back to the myth

Task Rate the statement again. Has your number moved? Why?

1

strongly agree

2

mostly agree

3

on the fence

4

mostly disagree

5

strongly disagree

"The more linking words, the higher the band."

Back to the myth (2)

The verdict

Linking words are one cohesive device among several. The others (reference words, repeated and related words, old-before-new order, clear paragraphs) do most of the work, and the reader hardly notices them. The public band descriptors describe cohesion at the top as something that "very rarely attracts attention", and at band 6 as something that "may be faulty or mechanical". The grain of truth: a signal where the argument turns (a contrast, a concession, a conclusion) helps. A signal in front of every sentence gets noticed for the wrong reason.

TR

CC

LR

GRA

Coherence and Cohesion

“Can I follow it?”

Before Lesson 9

Flow comes from what each sentence begins with, not from the word in front of it.

TR

CC

“Can I follow it?”

When you read your own writing this week, look at the first few words of each sentence: does each one pick up something the reader already has?

LR

Next lesson: Academic Style. Register, hedging and stance, and why the precise word beats the impressive one.

GRA

Homework

Task Finish your flow revision and make the one change your partner suggested. Then write a clean copy of the whole portfolio essay: introduction, body 1, body 2 and conclusion, about 280–300 words (no more than 320). At the top, write your linker count before and after the revision, and one sentence on a linker you decided to keep and the work it does. About 30 minutes.

TEACHER'S REFERENCE · SKIP OR DELETE BEFORE CLASS

Answer key (1)

TWO KINDS OF FLOW

• The sample is cohesive: every sentence opens with something from the sentence before (phones, landscapes, amateur photographers, advertising). It is not coherent: the topic changes in every sentence, so no sentence states a point and the paragraph is about nothing. No linker would fix it; only a decision about what the paragraph is for would.

STRIP THE LINKERS reasoning; "The verdict: what the linkers were doing" shows one revised version

1 Firstly: cut. It promises a secondly that never comes, and the topic sentence needs no number.

2 Moreover: cut. It is a misuse: sentence 2 does not add a new point, it explains sentence 1 with an example. The because inside the sentence already carries the logic.

3 Therefore: cut, or keep as optional. Without support already makes the consequence clear.

4 Furthermore: cut. These films (better, Those that are made) already links the sentence back.

5 In addition: change. It is the wrong signal: sentence 5 is a counter-argument, not one more reason. A concession marker (it is true, admittedly) does the right job.

TEACHER'S REFERENCE · SKIP OR DELETE BEFORE CLASS

Answer key (2)

6 However: keep. The argument turns here, from the critics' view to the rebuttal; without it the reader stumbles.

7 Consequently: change. The conclusion does not follow from sentence 6 alone. A phrase that points back to the whole paragraph (For these reasons, This is why) is accurate.

• Accept any version that keeps However (or another contrast marker), signals the concession in sentence 5 and cuts most of the rest. Pairs who keep Therefore are not wrong; ask whether the reader needs it.

OLD BEFORE NEW

• Version A, sentence 2 opens with new information (Free access for students…) and leaves the link (this) to the very end. Sentence 4 makes the reader hold a long new subject before learning how it connects. Version B opens each sentence with something known: This, Online access, That experience.

GIVEN-NEW REWRITE suggested versions; accept any rewrite that opens with known information and keeps the meaning

• A. This decision has been followed by a sharp rise in visitors, especially families.

• B. These recommendations, some critics argue, narrow the range of what people watch.

TEACHER'S REFERENCE · SKIP OR DELETE BEFORE CLASS

Answer key (3)

• C. These stations, however, still offer something national media rarely provide: programmes about a single town or region.

• D. Such rules often benefit young musicians who would otherwise struggle to be heard.

• E. The main reason for this is that clicks bring in advertising money. (Or: This is mainly because celebrity stories attract clicks, and clicks bring in advertising money.)

TRACE THE CHAIN the main links; students may find more

• Sentence 2: these platforms (R, 1: short-video apps); a song (L, 1: new music); radio station (L, 1: an audience, the old route to one).

• Sentence 3: Such clips (R, 2: a fifteen-second clip); hook, album (L, 2: a song).

• Sentence 4: this (R, 3: the idea that clips reward a hook); track, strongest moment (L, 3: song, hook); first few seconds (L, 2: fifteen-second clip).

• Sentence 5: The result (R, 4: summarises the practice in sentence 4); song (L, 2); noticed quickly (L, 3–4: catchy hook, first few seconds).

• Sentence 6: this trend (R, 4–5: summarises the change); listeners (L, 1: audience); the album (L, 3, repeated).

• No sentence opens with a linker, and the paragraph is still easy to follow: the chains do the work.