How the Cossacks ... cooked Kulish

Episode quiz

1) Kulish is a traditional _____ porridge

a) oat

b) rice

c) millet

2) _____ shoots several birds for the meal

a) Oko

b) Tur

c) Gray

3) Oko leaves the group to try to find some ______

a) wine

b) tobacco

c) beer

4) The Cossacks' horse alerts them that Oko has been captured by ______

a) the Turks

b) the Poles

c) the Tatars

5) After escaping, the Cossacks take cover in a ______ storehouse

a) gunpowder

b) food

c) construction

6) When they finally get home, the Cossacks are surprised to realise that ______

a) the kulish still isn't ready

b) the horses have disappeared

c) they forgot to get some tobacco

Now read the summary of How the Cossacks ... cooked Kulish and check your answers.

Episode summary

The cartoon begins with the three Cossacks preparing to cook kulish, a traditional millet porridge. Gray lights the campfire while Tur sleeps. Oko arrives with a large cauldron, Gray fills it with water, and Oko shoots several birds for the meal, waking Tur in the process.

While the food is cooking, the friends decide to smoke their pipes, only to discover that they have no tobacco. Oko notices smoke in the distance and assumes that people nearby must have some. Leaving his weapons behind, he crosses the river in search of tobacco.

Soon, the Cossacks' horse alerts Gray and Tur that Oko is in danger. He has been captured by Crimean Tatars and taken by ship to the fortress of Kaffa (now Fedosia) in Crimea. To rescue him, Gray and Tur sneak into the city disguised as a fishmonger and an enormous fish. Their plan quickly goes wrong, leading to a battle with the Tatar soldiers.

Meanwhile, Gray discovers that Oko has been imprisoned with several other captured Cossacks. They escape from their prison, reunite with Tur, and take refuge in a gunpowder storehouse. After driving back the attacking soldiers, the Cossacks use exploding barrels of gunpowder to destroy the enemy and blast a hole through the fortress wall. They make their escape by hiding inside a giant barrel, which rolls all the way to the waiting ship.

Just before leaving, Oko remembers the tobacco they had originally set out to find. He retrieves it from the fortress, and the three friends happily smoke their pipes as they return home.

Back at their campsite, Oko picks up the weapon he left behind before setting off on his adventure. The Cossacks gather around the campfire, expecting to enjoy their meal at last, only to discover that their kulish is still not ready.

Discussion

Did you like the episode?

Kulish is a millet porridge. You many not have seen this word in English before. How many other grains can you name in English?

Without dialogue it can be tricky to follow the plot. Were there any details in the summary that you missed?

We'll be referring to the characters a lot by name during the module. Do you have any special way of remembering who is who?

Do you know much about the history of Crimea or the Tatars?

Cossacks and Tatars: A Troubled History

For several centuries, the Cossacks and the Crimean Tatars were two of the most important peoples living on the vast steppes north of the Black Sea. Their territories bordered one another, and their relationship was shaped by both conflict and cooperation. Although they sometimes formed military alliances, they are most often remembered for the long period of warfare and raids that made life on the frontier dangerous and unpredictable.

The Crimean Tatars were the dominant people of the Crimean Khanate, a state established in the fifteenth century. Closely allied with the Ottoman Empire, the Khanate became a major regional power. One of its most profitable activities was raiding neighbouring territories. Tatar cavalry regularly rode into what are now Ukraine, southern Russia, and Poland, capturing thousands of men, women, and children. Many of these captives were taken to the port city of Kaffa in Crimea, where they were sold into slavery.

The Cossacks emerged as free warrior communities living along the frontier. Skilled horsemen and experienced fighters, they became famous for defending border regions against Tatar raids. The Cossacks frequently launched their own raids into Crimea and along the Black Sea coast, attacking Tatar and Ottoman settlements, freeing prisoners, and seizing supplies. As a result, both sides came to regard each other as dangerous and determined enemies.

Despite this history of violence, the relationship between the Cossacks and the Tatars was not always hostile. Politics in Eastern Europe were often complicated, and former enemies sometimes became allies. During the Khmelnytsky Uprising of 1648, for example, the Ukrainian Cossacks and the Crimean Tatars fought together against the Polish-Lithuanian Commonwealth. Although the alliance eventually broke down, it demonstrated that political interests could outweigh traditional rivalries.

Today, historians view the relationship as more complex than the simple conflict often presented in popular stories. Nevertheless, centuries of raids, battles, and shifting alliances left a lasting impression on the cultures of both peoples.

Discussion

The text and the cartoon refer only to Crimean Tatars. What is the relationship between Crimean Tatars and the ones in Tatarstan?

Are you familiar with the Great Tatarian Empire conspiracy theory?

When I come across texts (or cartoons) like this one, I have an urge to learn as much as I can about this period / these people. Do you ever have a similar feeling?

Have you heard of this Khemlnystsky uprising?

Where does Russia fit into this picture?

What was the humorous ending to this episode?

Now read two jokes that have a similar flavour.

Some things never change

One day, Arnold was walking down a familiar street he hadn't seen in over 20 years. Arnold had been in prison but was now a free man.

As he was walking down the street, he noticed all of the old buildings and how they had changed. The arcade where he used to hang out with his friends was now a modern shopping centre; the old library was some kind of community centre; and his old local pub had been knocked down and replaced with a trendy new health bar.

The only thing that seemed to be the same were his clothes, which the prison had been legally required to give back to him. In his old trouser pocket, he found a ticket for a shoe-repair shop. He had completely forgotten that he had handed in some shoes to be repaired before getting arrested. The man who owned the place must have been in his 70s back then, so surely he and his shop were both long gone.

Regardless, Arnold went to the place where the shop used to be. To his amazement, not only was the shop still there, but that same old man, now in his nineties, was still working there! "This is incredible," Arnold said to the man, showing him the decades-old ticket.

The old man put on his glasses, looked carefully at the ticket and then disappeared to the back room. He then called out, "They should be ready by Thursday."

A brand-new Zhiguli

A Soviet man goes to a government office to order a new Zhiguli.

The clerk fills out the paperwork and informs the man that due to unexpected shortages, there is a current wait-time of 10 years. He takes down the man's details and tells him to come back in ten years' time to pick it up.

The man asks, "Should I come in the morning or afternoon?"

Surprised, and a little annoyed, the clerk snaps, "What bloody difference does it make if it's the morning or the afternoon? It's 10 years from now!"

The man replies, "Well the plumber is coming in the morning."

Discussion

Which joke did you like more?

Had you heard either of these jokes before?

Do you agree that these jokes have the same flavour as the humorous ending in How the Cossacks ... cooked Kulish?

Have you heard any other jokes with a similar vibe?

Sorry for the crashing bore question, but what is it about waiting a very long time for something that we often find so funny?

Well, the episode didn't mention Kulish much, so it hasn't featured much in our class ... until now!

Ingredients

200 g millet

1.5 liters water or broth

150–200 g smoked bacon or pork belly (or lard with bits of meat)

1 onion

1–2 carrots (optional but common)

2–3 potatoes

2 tbsp sunflower oil or lard (if meat is lean)

Salt, black pepper to taste

Fresh dill or parsley (optional)

Instructions

Prepare the millet: Rinse the millet thoroughly in cold water until it runs clear. This removes bitterness.

Cook the base: Bring water or broth to a boil in a large pot. Add the millet and reduce to a medium simmer.

Add potatoes: Peel and cut potatoes into cubes, then add them to the pot after the millet has cooked for about 10 minutes.

Prepare the meat and vegetables: Dice the bacon or pork belly. Fry it in a pan until it releases fat and starts to brown. Add chopped onion (and carrots if using) and sauté until soft and lightly golden.

Combine: Add the fried meat and vegetables into the pot. Stir well.

Simmer: Cook everything together for another 15–20 minutes, until the millet is soft and the mixture is thick and porridge-like.

Season: Add salt and black pepper to taste. Stir well and let it rest for a few minutes off the heat.

Serve: Serve hot, often topped with fresh herbs.

Discussion

Have you tried Kulish before?

Based on the pictures and video, how nutritious / delicious does it look?

How easy / difficult does it look to cook?

What do you think of the @eatshistory concept?

Our dear Oko, Gray and Tur used bird meat in their version. What else could be added to make it delicious?

Other Cossack dishes

Shcherba — Simple fish soup made from river fish, onions, and herbs; common among river-based Cossack camps.

Teteria — A sour porridge/soup made from rye flour or grains, sometimes fermented or cooked with kvass.

Solomakha — Very simple dish made from roasted flour mixed with water or fat; often emergency field food.

Borscht — Beet-based soup with cabbage, meat or beans; widely eaten in Cossack-era Ukraine.

Varenyky — Dumplings filled with potato, cheese, cabbage, or berries; common festive and everyday food.

Halushki — Soft dough dumplings often served with onions, sour cream, or pork fat.

Yushka — Clear soup usually made from fish or meat with simple vegetables and herbs.

Uzvar — Sweet drink made by boiling dried fruits like apples, pears, and plums.

Discussion

How many of the dishes are you familiar with?

Which sound the most appetising?

Some countries can get quite protective over the ownership of their national cuisine. Does it matter?

Homework

Watch the legendary episode How the Cossacks ... Played Football

Notes