The Finished Essay — Essay Writing 10 (C1)

ESSAY WRITING · LESSON 10

The Finished Essay

C1–C2 · IELTS Writing Task 2 · 90 minutes

The myth: no time to plan or check

Task Alone, score the statement on the 1–5 scale. Then, in pairs, explain your number: what do you actually do in the first five minutes and the last five minutes of a timed essay?

1

strongly agree

2

mostly agree

3

on the fence

4

mostly disagree

5

strongly disagree

"There's no time to plan or check."

Forty minutes, three jobs

IELTS suggests about 40 minutes for Task 2, and at least 250 words. A sensible default for those 40 minutes:

Plan: about 5 minutes

Write: about 30 minutes

Check: about 5 minutes

Read every part of the question. Decide your position. Choose two ideas you can develop, with one example each. Write a line plan, one line per paragraph.

About ten words a minute keeps you near 300. Follow the plan; don't stop to polish a sentence you can fix later.

Not a general reread: a hunt for your errors, one kind at a time, with your own checklist. Then a rough count: count three typical lines, take the average and multiply by your number of lines.

TR

CC

TR

CC

LR

GRA

LR

GRA

Serves "Did it answer the question?" and "Can I follow it?"

Serves all four reader's questions.

Serves "Is every word the right one?" and "Is every sentence under control?"

Forty minutes, three jobs (2)

Plan

about 5

Write

about 30

Check

about 5

0

5

35

40

about ten words a minute

The word budget: about 300 words

Introduction

Body 1

Body 2

Conclusion

40–50

100–110

100–110

30–40

0

100

250 minimum

200

~320 ceiling

~300 target

Essay A: the long version

As the same shops, restaurants and films spread around the world, some people say that travelling abroad is becoming less worthwhile. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

ESSAY A · 365 words

In today's globalised world, travel is a topic that many people have strong opinions about. From Lisbon to Lima, visitors now find the same coffee chains, the same clothing shops and the same films in the cinemas. Some people therefore argue that travelling abroad is becoming less worthwhile. This essay will discuss this issue in detail. In my view, although the high streets of the world are starting to look alike, travel is as worthwhile as it has ever been.

It is certainly true that globalisation has made many city centres more similar. A visitor walking through central Bangkok or central Warsaw will pass many of the same brands. In other words, the surface of many cities has become more uniform than it was a generation ago. However, this surface is only a thin layer. What makes a place worth visiting has never really been its shops.

ESSAY A · CONTINUED

It is the language people speak on the bus, the way families eat together at the weekend and the history written into the streets. A branch of an international chain in Istanbul does not change the fact that the call to prayer still sounds across the city five times a day.

Moreover, it is also worth noting that familiar brands can actually make deeper travel easier. Furthermore, a traveller who is not worried about finding food or a cash machine that works is free to spend their energy on the things that matter, such as learning some of the language or talking to the people they meet. For example, a student from Seoul spending a semester in Nairobi may eat at a familiar chain in her first week, but by the end she may be cooking with her neighbours and bargaining at the market in Swahili. In addition to this, cheap flights mean that more people than ever before are able to travel, which is also a positive development.

In conclusion, to sum up, although the same shops and films can now be found almost everywhere, I believe that travel is still worthwhile. The high streets may look alike, but the culture beneath them has not disappeared, and familiar brands can even make that culture easier to reach.

What to cut first

Cut in this order. Each step removes words the reader doesn't need, and leaves the argument where it was.

1. Repetition. A sentence that says again what the last one said ("In other words…"), or a conclusion that repeats a body sentence word for word. Serves "Can I follow it?"

2. Throat-clearing. An empty opener ("In today's globalised world…") or "this essay will…". Real context is not throat-clearing. Serves "Did it answer the question?"

3. A third idea. A point squeezed into the end of a paragraph with no explanation or example. If it isn't developed, it isn't helping. Serves "Did it answer the question?"

4. Filler linkers. Linkers doing no logical work, or stacked two at a time ("Moreover, it is also worth noting that…"; "In conclusion, to sum up"). Serves "Can I follow it?"

5. Last, inside sentences: a phrase where one word would do.

CC

TR

TR

CC

Never cut: the context sentence, the position, a topic sentence, the example that does the work, or a concession you then answer.

Cut to budget

Task In pairs, copy Essay A into one shared document. Cut it from 365 words to about 300 (280–310) without losing the argument. Use the order on "What to cut first". Write your final word count at the top, and next to each cut, write which kind it was: repetition, throat-clearing, third idea, filler linker or phrase.

When you finish: check that each body paragraph is still about 100 words. If one is far shorter, did you cut something that was doing work?

Your own checklist

Task Alone. Open your Lesson 1 diagnostic and your portfolio drafts, with any feedback. Find the errors you make more than once. Write a checklist of five items. For each item write: the error, one real example from your own writing, and how you will find it quickly. Keep it private. You will use it in "The timed essay".

A good item is:

A

Yours: it comes from your own writing, not from a list of common mistakes.

B

Findable: you know where to look, for example every plural noun, every sentence that starts with "This", or the last sentence of each paragraph.

C

Quick: you can check the whole essay for it in under a minute.

Mix at least one item about whole paragraphs (for example, a body paragraph drifting away from its topic sentence) with items about words and sentences.

The timed essay

40 minutes

Task Write an essay on the prompt below. 40 minutes. At least 250 words; aim for about 300, and no more than about 320. Use the default: plan for about 5 minutes, write for about 30, check for about 5 with your own checklist. At the end, write your word count under the essay. Don't edit after your teacher says "stop".

More and more people who work online now spend several months at a time living in another country, often one where living costs are lower than at home. Do the advantages of this trend for the countries they move to outweigh the disadvantages?

Introduction

Body 1

Body 2

Conclusion

40–50

100–110

100–110

30–40

0

100

250 minimum

200

~320 ceiling

~300 target

The four reader's questions

Task Alone. Read your timed essay once for each question below. For each, write yes, mostly or not yet, and underline one sentence that proves your answer. Then write one line: the change that would help this essay most.

TR

CC

LR

GRA

Task Response

Coherence and Cohesion

Lexical Resource

Grammatical Range and Accuracy

“Did it answer the question?”

“Can I follow it?”

“Is every word the right one?”

“Is every sentence under control?”

Every part of it, with a clear position?

One idea per paragraph, each sentence leading to the next?

Precise, not impressive?

Did your checklist catch anything?

Then and now

Task Alone. Put your Lesson 1 diagnostic beside today's essay. Don't rewrite anything. Note:

1

2

3

one thing you now do on purpose that you didn't do then

one thing that is still on your checklist

the word count of each essay

Ten myths: part 1

Task Give each myth a number on the 1–5 scale. Ten seconds each: your first answer is the honest one.

1

strongly agree

2

mostly agree

3

on the fence

4

mostly disagree

5

strongly disagree

1. "There's a formula that guarantees band 7+."

2. "Examiners tick off a checklist: three linkers, two idioms, one conditional."

3. "Every essay must cover both sides."

4. "Sit on the fence: it's safer."

5. "Open with a memorised line; paraphrase = swap every word for a synonym; restate the intro."

Ten myths: part 2

Task Give each myth a number on the 1–5 scale. For myth 10, compare your number with your score at the start of today's lesson.

1

strongly agree

2

mostly agree

3

on the fence

4

mostly disagree

5

strongly disagree

6. "More ideas = a higher score."

7. "Invent a statistic to sound convincing."

8. "The more linking words, the higher the band."

9. "Use rare words and idioms, and never use 'I'."

10. "There's no time to plan or check."

Homework

Task Two pieces of writing, about 35–40 minutes in all. Send both to your teacher, with today's marked-up timed essay.

1. The final edit of your portfolio essay (about 25 minutes). Read it against the four reader's questions, then cut it to the budget: about 300 words, at least 250, no more than about 320 (introduction 40–50, each body paragraph 100–110, conclusion 30–40). Use the order on "What to cut first". Finish with your five-item checklist, one item at a time. Write the final word count at the top.

2. Then and now (about 10–15 minutes, 100–150 words). Compare your Lesson 1 diagnostic with your final portfolio essay. In your own words: what changed, what you now do on purpose, and what is still on your checklist. Point to one sentence in each essay.

The end of the module

Plan for five minutes, write for thirty, check for five: and check for your own errors, not everyone's.

TR

Task Response

CC

Coherence and Cohesion

Keep your checklist and keep changing it: when an error stops appearing, cross it out and add the next one. The four reader's questions work on any essay you write after this, in IELTS or anywhere else.

LR

Lexical Resource

GRA

Grammatical Range and Accuracy

Plan

about 5

Write

about 30

Check

about 5

TEACHER'S REFERENCE · SKIP OR DELETE BEFORE CLASS

Answer key (1)

CUT TO BUDGET one possible cut; any version from about 280 to 310 that keeps the position, both developed ideas and the examples is a good answer

• Throat-clearing (23 words): "In today's globalised world, travel is a topic that many people have strong opinions about." (15) and "This essay will discuss this issue in detail." (8). Neither says anything about the question. The sentence that is left to open the essay ("From Lisbon to Lima…") is real context, so the cut introduction still has all three steps: context, the claim the question makes, and a position without the reasons.

• Repetition (18 words): "In other words, the surface of many cities has become more uniform than it was a generation ago." It restates the two sentences before it.

• A third idea (23 words): "In addition to this, cheap flights mean that more people than ever before are able to travel, which is also a positive development." Undeveloped, and it doesn't answer the question: more people travelling says nothing about whether travel is still worthwhile.

• Filler linkers (11 words): "Moreover, it is also worth noting that" (7), "Furthermore," (1; it adds nothing, and the sentence explains rather than adds), "to sum up," (3; doubles "In conclusion").

• Kept on purpose: "I believe that" in the conclusion. It is the writer's position, and the task asks for it.

• Total: 365 minus 75 = 290 words.

TEACHER'S REFERENCE · SKIP OR DELETE BEFORE CLASS

Answer key (2)

MODEL Essay A, cut · 290 words · Intended band: 7

From Lisbon to Lima, visitors now find the same coffee chains, the same clothing shops and the same films in the cinemas. Some people therefore argue that travelling abroad is becoming less worthwhile. In my view, although the high streets of the world are starting to look alike, travel is as worthwhile as it has ever been.

It is certainly true that globalisation has made many city centres more similar. A visitor walking through central Bangkok or central Warsaw will pass many of the same brands. However, this surface is only a thin layer. What makes a place worth visiting has never really been its shops. It is the language people speak on the bus, the way families eat together at the weekend and the history written into the streets. A branch of an international chain in Istanbul does not change the fact that the call to prayer still sounds across the city five times a day.

Familiar brands can actually make deeper travel easier. A traveller who is not worried about finding food or a cash machine that works is free to spend their energy on the things that matter, such as learning some of the language or talking to the people they meet. For example, a student from Seoul spending a semester in Nairobi may eat at a familiar chain in her first week, but by the end she may be cooking with her neighbours and bargaining at the market in Swahili.

In conclusion, although the same shops and films can now be found almost everywhere, I believe that travel is still worthwhile. The high streets may look alike, but the culture beneath them has not disappeared, and familiar brands can even make that culture easier to reach.

• Note: the intended band is the same for both versions. The cut doesn't make the argument better; it makes the same argument in fewer words, which in the exam buys the checking time.

TEACHER'S REFERENCE · SKIP OR DELETE BEFORE CLASS

Answer key (3)

TEN MYTHS one-sentence verdicts

1 A formula guarantees band 7+: no. The criteria describe qualities of a response to this question, and a formula can't answer a question it hasn't read (Lesson 1).

2 Examiners count features: no. The descriptors describe how well language and organisation work, not how many devices appear (Lesson 2).

3 Always cover both sides: no. Cover what the task asks; an opinion prompt needs a position, and the other side is welcome only when it serves the argument, for example as a concession (Lesson 3).

4 Sit on the fence: no. "Did it answer the question?" needs a position the reader can find; a qualified position is a position, a refusal to choose isn't (Lesson 4).

5 Memorised opener, synonym-swap paraphrase, restated intro: no on all three. An opening has to fit this question, a paraphrase rewords the idea rather than each word, and a conclusion answers and synthesises (Lesson 5).

6 More ideas, higher score: no. Two developed ideas do more for "Did it answer the question?" than four listed ones (Lesson 6).

7 Invent a statistic: no. An invented figure is unsupported, and reasoning with plausible examples persuades without one (Lesson 7).

8 More linkers, higher band: no. Flow comes from given-before-new and reference; linkers stacked or misused make it harder to follow (Lesson 8).

9 Rare words and idioms, never "I": no. Precision beats rarity, and "I" is fine where the task asks for your opinion (Lesson 9).

TEACHER'S REFERENCE · SKIP OR DELETE BEFORE CLASS

Answer key (4)

10 No time to plan or check: no, provided the essay is about 300 words. At about ten words a minute, 300 words leave five minutes at each end; 400 words don't (Lesson 10).