LISTENING
Tapescript: "The grass is always greener"
A conversation between two old friends
LEAH So. One year in the countryside. Be honest — you miss the city, don't you?
SAM Honestly? Less than I expected. My life is so much calmer than it used to be. I sleep better, I work more efficiently, and my rent is half of what you pay. Half, Leah.
LEAH OK, but what do you actually do in the evenings? Because I checked, and your village has one pub and a shop that closes earlier than my grandmother goes to bed.
SAM The pub is lovely, actually. And it's not as quiet as you think — there's a market, there's a running club...
LEAH A running club. Sam, last month I saw two festivals, a comedy show and the best exhibition I've ever seen in my life. That's one month.
SAM And you spent more on those tickets than I spend on food. Come on — the city's got more expensive since you moved there, hasn't it?
LEAH Everything's got more expensive, everywhere. But fine, yes. My flat is smaller than your bathroom, and my commute is the worst part of my day. Forty minutes standing under someone's armpit.
SAM Mine's a ten-minute walk. Through fields. I'm just saying — I get home earlier than you leave work.
LEAH But that's my point! Nothing happens to you. When was the last time something surprised you?
SAM Tuesday. A cow got into the garden.
LEAH ...OK, that's the funniest thing you've said all year.
SAM Look, it's simple. You like living quickly. I like living slowly. Your life isn't the same as mine any more — but honestly? Neither of us dresses as well as we used to, neither of us goes out as much as we used to, and we're both turning into our parents. Yours just happened faster than mine.
LEAH That is the most offensive and the most accurate thing anyone has ever said to me.