LISTENING (continued)
Tapescript: "Commuter confessions"
CEM Brutal. OK — Doru, you're on next. Can you beat onions?
DORU I can beat onions. I don't drive — I take the tram, then the underground, two stops. Last Friday, tram's cancelled. Fine. I walk to the station — the platform's closed, some signal problem, everybody's squeezed onto one narrow platform like penguins. I finally get on a train so full my feet weren't touching the floor. I was just... held there. By strangers. Like luggage.
CEM A human sandwich.
DORU And then — then — I get out, borrow one of those electric scooters for the last kilometre, very pleased with myself, and it runs out of battery on the hill. Not at the bottom. Halfway up. So I'm pushing a dead scooter uphill, in the rain, in rush hour, past a hundred people in warm buses watching me.
CEM And how long does your journey normally take, Doru?
DORU Twenty-five minutes, door to door. That day? An hour and fifty. And when I finally walked in, soaked, pushing nothing because I'd abandoned the scooter — my boss looked up and said, "Half day, is it?"
CEM (laughing) Right, listeners, vote on the app: onions or the scooter of shame. And watch out on the bridge tomorrow, there's — of course there is — a burst water pipe. More after the news.